This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
