Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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