you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
