Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
