I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
