did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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