They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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