I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
