he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
