Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How does it feel to date your dad?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
