that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize