Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
