kristin has been a bad kristin
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
