but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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