is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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