idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
