In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
