I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
