yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
