dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
