her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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