My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he thought i was a dude.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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