Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
