Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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