Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize