We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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