Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
