At least make sure they are 18
Why
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize