I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
