If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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