went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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