i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
