The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
