the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
