I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize