i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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