Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wakey wakey hands off snakey
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
