I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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