wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Boobs speak an international language.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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