So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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