i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
