About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
