Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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