I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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