He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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