Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
