I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
