I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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