you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
