She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
