hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
