Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
