Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
