Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Even my vagina gasped.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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