I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
