also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
