I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we made out on top of his cat.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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