found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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