the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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