i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
