Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize